I received one of those phone calls the other day that none of us want to receive. I was working on my computer at the kitchen table when I felt my cell phone vibrate. I leave it on vibrate because, like my mother, my hearing isn’t what it used to be.
The caller I.D. flashed “Mom and Dad”. They are in Florida at this time of year, so I knew that a phone call this early in the morning meant that they had either just set a record on their early morning walk/run or something was wrong.
I picked up the phone and heard mom say “Cameron, it’s your mother” I knew instantly that something was wrong. Mom had been struggling with stomach problems for months and had spent 6 hours in the emergency room a week and half before. One x-ray was inconclusive so she had a cat scan. Mom was calling me to tell me that the doctor’s office had called the night before to tell her that she had “lymphoma”.
From my minimal knowledge of lymphoma I felt that it was one of the most curable forms of cancer. I also new that, at that point, we had very little information and we would know more after mom went to the doctor’s office later that day. Knowing this I didn’t have a big reaction to the news. I simply listened to mom’s concerns that someone would need to come to Florida to be with dad while she had her operation. I let her know my sisters, Lynn and Lorna, and I would work things out and that she wouldn’t have to worry about those arraignments.
Mom’s voice cracked a little when she said goodbye and told me she was going to call Lynn and Lorna to tell them the news.
As I got off the phone I thought of a line that I have heard my dad say many times, “I am the luckiest man on the earth.” This line made sense to me because in my immediate family we have been extremely lucky in terms of dealing with family illness and tragedy.
Beyond the longevity and health I am the fortunate beneficiary of an upbringing that encouraged open communication and expression of one’s feelings. At a time when I was thinking about the potential loss of my mother I was also thinking that, because of the open communication and the longevity, my mom and I have been blessed to be in a place where we have worked out any differences we have had over the years. There are no words left unsaid and I won’t be burdened with feeling that I didn’t get a chance to express all my feelings to her.
I went to work that day and was able to focus and do the things that I needed to do. I thought of mom frequently but no morbid thoughts came to mind and my sense of calm continued.
When I left work I noticed that mom had tried to call my cell phone. I tried calling back several times over the course of the next 45 minutes. Finally, as I stood over the kitchen stove making American Chop Suey for my kids, the phone vibrated. I picked it up to hear my mother’s voice again. “Well, the news is a little better than I originally thought, “said mom in a much more enthusiastic tone. “ “I don’t have “Lymphoma” I have “Lypoma” a generally benign, fatty growth.”
In that moment, with a sense of great relief, my normally loud, boisterous and joyful laugh exploded from my body. The whole idea that mom had misheard what the doctor’s office had said, fit my sense of humor perfectly and mom and I shared a wonderful moment of laughter.
Again, I was reminded that I am also “The luckiest man on earth.”
I know that there are many things that I simply can’t control in life. That is where the “luck’ comes in. What I can control is letting those around me know what they mean to me and how important they are to me.
During this holiday weekend I am going to laugh loud and long with a sense of great thanks for the blessings in my life. I’m also going to call my mother again and let her know in a very loving and empathic tone to…..”PUT IN YOUR HEARING AID IN THE NEXT TIME THE DOCTOR CALLS!
