I had the Today Show on the other day when a segment was airing in regard to lying to your children. I only heard a little and I didn’t really pay attention to it.
Since that time I have thought about my own honesty in regard to raising my own children.
I would never suggest to anyone that they follow my examples in raising children. I’ve always used instinct before expert advice and in fact I’ve never used any expert advice in raising my kids.
My own innate experience entailed developing trust from the moment they were born by simply spending as much time as I could with them and really trying to be in the moment and attentive whenever they expressed themselves or participated in an event.
It just seemed to me that when you have a trusting and open relationship with your kids it truly minimizes the necessity to lie.
I was also very open in regard to my own mistakes in life.
As my kids segued into adolescence, discussions of drugs, drinking and sex came up and I explained to them that I started smoking pot and drinking in the eighth grade and lost my virginity in high school.
I never worried that they would feel that, that gave them the right to do the same thing because I always felt like they trusted and respected me. I also felt that it was important that they knew that I am a human being who has made a lot of mistakes in life.
The sense that parents make mistakes too, can be very freeing and actually create more trust between a parent and a child.
My basic advice to them was simply, ‘The longer you wait before drinking, taking drugs or having sex the better your life will be.”
I’m proud to say that they all listened.
