I found this poster as I was cleaning. Most people wouldn’t look at a picture of themselves cross-dressing as a defining moment. For me it is one of many.
I was coaching a girl’s travel soccer team that year. Falmouth had a very competitive soccer program and I served on the soccer board.
My daughter had made the “A” travel team and they already had a wonderful group of coaches.
I decided to help coach the “B” team with my friend Steve McDavitt.
Steve played soccer in college and had the perfect personality for coaching young women. We were in deep agreement that a positive win in a moment is a positive win for a lifetime.
We celebrated every great effort and every successful moment.
As a dad, and a person, I’ve always felt it was important to teach kids to take risks, embrace life and not worry about what others think.
This helps us all to be present in the moment.
During that fall as Steve and I devised interesting drills and cheered loudly from the sidelines we were rewarded with many life fulfilling, humorous moments.
During our last regular season game we were not hustling. At half time I challenged the girls to simply give their best effort. In that present moment, I told them that I would dress up as a female cheer leader for our first playoff game if they lived up to the challenge.
Their eyes lit up and the giggling started. It is amazing how effective a coach or a mentor can be when they positively challenge their athletes while taking on a nonconforming risk.
As I suspected their individual pace and effort to the ball increased dramatically. The cheering for each other increased and when we made a substitution the athletes would simply ask if they hustled enough.
We didn’t win the game, but we won the moment. As we discussed the game and talked of the playoffs the next weekend, I rewarded them with the news that I would be coaching dressed as a cheerleader because their collective hustle and effort was terrific.
They erupted in cheers and excitedly ran to their parents to let them know the news. There may have been some mixed reactions from the parents but Steve and I didn’t receive any negative feedback. We just saw and heard a lot of laughing.
Janet Bruen was an alumnus of Falmouth High school. Her daughter, Mary played for the “A” team. When she heard what I was planning she offered her classic 1970s Falmouth High School cheering uniform and pompoms.
If you are going to take a risk and be authentic it is important to go all in. Now that I had the “uniform” I just needed a little lipstick, makeup, earrings and pregame focus.
I told Steve to do the pregame drills and I would come running on to the field just before game time.
I dressed at home. When I arrived at the field, I sat in my car with my 7 or 8 year-old son Sam in the backseat as I applied my makeup and lipstick.
There were a few good doubletakes from parents who noticed as they arrived for the game.
The players continually asked Steve where I was. He acted like he wasn’t sure.
About five minutes before the game I told Sam to go to the sidelines. After he was by the field I took a deep breath, opened the door and took off running toward the field screaming “Go Falmouth” in a high pitched voice.
Instead of running straight to the team I took a lap around the field, stopping in front of parents and fans to perform a “Will Farrell” type cheer.
There were certainly some bewildered looks from some parents. The majority simply laughed and cheered. When I ran to the team they all came to meet me cheering and laughing, ready for the game.
If this was a Disney movie script we would have kicked the winning goal in overtime.
We hustled and lost.
What I hope Steve and I achieved during that season was to simply build self-esteem and the idea that we all need to take positive risks in life to enjoy it fully.
