It is now officially the beginning of the high school basketball season in Maine. This may be the most popular sport in the state and playing for your high school team is an important coming of age goal for many boys and girls.
My son Sam is a 16 year old junior at Falmouth High School in Falmouth Maine. He has grown up playing basketball with his older brother and he is a huge Boston Celtic and Duke University fan. Basketball is always on TV at our house and Sam spends an enormous amount of time playing basketball on the street that we live on. I placed a cheap portable hoop by the side of the road and it is one of the best investments that I have ever made.
Our high school team has a very talented group in Sam’s class. Sam is a very good shooter but he is not blessed with speed. He has run cross country every year to get in shape for basketball and this year he has expressed concerns over making the team. It is not unusual for juniors to get cut because they are sometimes stuck in no man’s land. Not skilled enough to play varsity and not young enough to have potential to develop.
The days before tryouts were filled with discussions of maintaining focus, believing in yourself, hustle and having a positive attitude.
Sam and I spent Saturday and Sunday looking for basketball shoes. Size 11 is very popular and finding the brand and style that Sam wanted was becoming difficult. I was heading out on a business trip on Monday so we had several stores call other locations to see what they had. We found a store that had Sam’s size and style and I told him I would pick up the shoes and deliver them to tryouts. He took his old shoes in case I was late.
The next day I went to the store and bought 2 pair of shoes in different colors because I thought Sam might change his mind once he saw both. I sent him a text to make sure he knew that I had the shoes and he replied that practice was earlier and that he would use his old shoes.
That night I picked him up from practice and asked him how things went. Sam was very positive as he described the tryout and the things they had done. As we got home Sam immediately tried on the new shoes, selected the pair he originally wanted and went outside to try them out. His reaction was “The new shoes are great dad. Thank you”.
I dropped him off at school the next day and headed back out on the road. He called me after 8 pm to tell me practice was done. When I arrived at the school I switched seats so he could drive. He walked slowly to the car, opened the door and got in with a very sullen look on his face. “You might as well return both pair of shoes,” he said as his eyes seemed to mist over.
At first I thought he was joking as I said something like, “Don’t give me that crap. How did it go?
“I’m not kidding dad, I didn’t make the team. I’m going to run indoor track.”
It was one of those moments that are tough for parents to deal with. How should I react? Is this a good learning moment? Should I just say I’m sorry, I know how hard you have worked or should I get angry at the school and the coaches for cutting my son?
In short I didn’t know what to say. I sat there looking at Sam trying to figure out what I could say that might be inspirational but nothing came.
Suddenly that big beautiful smile of Sam’s came across his face and he said “I made JV. Coach told me he expects me to be one of the leaders and if I work hard I’ll be one of the three guys he calls up at the end of the season when they make the playoffs.”
I burst out laughing. Sam had played the same trick that I play on him. He totally had me fooled and it was his best acting yet!
Life doesn’t always work out as we planned but we can have a lot of fun along the way whether our plan works or not.
