Celebrate the Dick in Your Life

My ex-wife and I decided to get a divorce in 2006 during my daughter’s sophomore year and my youngest son’s eighth grade year. Our oldest son was attending college.

It certainly wasn’t an easy time but we did our best to protect the kids and not bring them into end of relationship issues until we had them worked out ourselves.

We stayed in our house together and Kim would sometimes leave to visit her current husband Dick.

In the early spring we knew we needed to sit down with the Kourt and Sam to explain exactly what our plan was. I had already explained to our oldest son, Brandon that we were getting divorced when he came home from school earlier in the year.

When Kim and I called Kourt and Sam into the family room to talk they certainly knew that something serious was about to be discussed and of course they were intuitive enough to understand that life for the last few months had not been normal. Of course, anyone who knows my family knows that we have never been what the average person would consider, normal.

Kim and Dick Enjoying the Celebrate the Dick in Your Life!

Kim and I took our time and explained that we were getting a divorce and that we were also selling the house. I’m not sure how long that discussion took but when I felt we had discussed what was appropriate, I said, “Do you have any more questions?” Sam, who was always funny and irrepressible as a kid said, “I have something to say.

He looked directly at me and said, “Dad, find somebody hot.” Then turn to Kim he exclaimed, “Mom, don’t marry a Dick!”

In what could have been a deeply sad emotional moment, I burst out laughing giving a knowing look to Kim. Sam didn’t realize just how funny he was being in the moment but I loved it. We segued into eating ice cream and our divorce process began.

Kim would get a job working for Georgetown University, marry Dick and we went about the process of living our lives and treating each other with kindness and respect. Life was different but we still had kids that needed to come first.

Kourt, Sam and I stayed in Maine and Brandon would come home on school breaks and summer vacations. We had to sell the house and we moved almost every year to a new house or apartment. We even spent a year living with the kid’s childhood nanny, Jill.

In 2011, after my credit had “healed” I began to look for a house to buy. Sam and Kourt were both attending the University of Maine and Brandon was coaching track and cross country at Syracuse University.

For the first time I was able too really think about where I wanted to live and what type of house I wanted. My requirements were simple. Live as close to the ocean as financially possible and have some good local bars to frequent. I was lucky to find a modest ranch located behind some rundown summer cabins in Kennebunk. I knew it was the right house from the moment I stepped inside because the layout was open and felt kind and warm.

That first summer my kids had a wonderful time. Kourt and Sam found jobs in the Kennebunkport and Brandon came home for several weeks.

Immediately we opened our house to Kim and Dick. It is only three bedrooms so I always gave them my room. The first time they stayed there I short-sheeted the bed and one time I put our wedding picture above the bed. They took it in stride and we all got a good chuckle.

By 2013 we were having summer parties together at my house and in 2015 we started naming the parties and we even ordered pink tank tops with caricatures of Sam and Kourt drinking on my roof to celebrate their bachelor and master degrees.

In 2016 we celebrated Brandon’s 30^th birthday calling it the “30 for 30” and with Sam being nicknamed “Ders” based on a character in “Workaholics” we named his 25^th birthday celebration “The Quarders”.

While brainstorming for the 2018 party I realized that Kim and Dick’s 10^th anniversary would be occurring and Brandon’s friend Brian and I decided to call it “Celebrate the Dick in Your Life!”

We announced our plans at the “Quaders” as I explained the name of the party to everyone and let them know that we would celebrate my 60^th birthday in 2019 and call it “Celebrate the Dick in your Life” for a completely different reason.

We had a wonderful time telling friends and family about the “Celebrate the Dick in Your Life”. Most people simply laughed and then couldn’t believe that an ex-husband and ex-wife can have such an open and funny relationship.

For me it has simply brought people into my life that I never would have known and allows our children to enjoy both parents at the same time, without angst and with a great sense of love and laughter.